how to be a complete idoit
act like a chicken in a public place.
grab at your groin and scream in pain while at your girlfriend's house.
ask your girlfriend to scratch your groin for you because your hands are stuck in your pants pockets.
tell your mother in law that she is gaining weight
listen to rap, dance, blues, alternative, classical, or forign music.
try to make a web site about being a dumbass.
being successful in making a web site about being a loser.
learning almost every tag in html 4.0, when version 5.0 is out in another month.
trying to make a site that you think is good, but the world thinks it should be put in a nuthouse.
spending time watching the paint in your house dry.
typing this much html for a page that is about stupidity.
telling your girlfriend that she needs classes in self-control during her period.
tell a blonde that she is intellegent, bright, and imaginative.
praise your 15 year old girlfriend after she tells you she's pregnant by another man with a much bigger dick than you.
write poetry(like shakespere)and then go to university to study it.
scratch your armpits, then smell your fingers and say "i don't need a shower this week"
spend time reading up on how to be a idoit
getting caught in class starring at the ugly girls ass and tits.
asking the ugly geek girl in your school if she wants to dance when in the middle of a chemistry test.
trying to tell the computer related studies teacher that you use the mouse to point and click on objects on a computer screen, not a ruler.
trying to tell any of your teachers that their wrong.
asking your teachers to give you a pass mark on the next report card.
telling your parents that you only get one report card per school year.
telling your parents that you only write exams, and never write tests.
having your mother wash your face before you go to the prom while standing in front of all your friends(few if you follow the above steps).
telling the securtiy guard at the local mall that the cd that you were shoplifting magically fell there.
getting a job as a security guard at your local mall or department store.
telling all your friends about your sexual encounters with your cousins.
telling dumb blonde jokes in a room with 50-100 blondes.
watching the blondes laughing at the dumb blonde jokes.
pick your nose and eat the big ones(gone fishin' fer trout).
going to bed with a itchy ass, and waking up with stinky fingers.
telling your girlfriend that she is really fat when she asks "do you think i'm fat?".
asking your smoker friend to save you his butt, and wink at him.
telling your parents that you passed your math course in summer school when your highest mark was a 12 on a test out of 100.
asking your dad to help you think of ideas for a "how to be a complete loser" page.
go fishing or hunting
telling your girlfriend that the plastic surgery didn't work.
comitting a "stupid human trick".
trying to be the cause of a "act of god".
watch wrestling on a regular basis and think that it is real.
try to go on a plan to lose that 50 pounds that keeps finding its way back to your gut.
trying to act like a normal being in frount of your girlfriend's parents so her father doesn't kill you.
telling your girlfriend's father what your really hoping to do with his daughter.
being the girlfriend's father who has to think of some cruel punishment for her boyfriend, even if he doesn't do something wrong
telling your woman's father that you had a small accident with her and you both ended up in the back seat of your car.
trying to out-run her father.
trying to think of these fuckin things.
how to be a loser
listen to music by "beck"
hurry home from school because you have to study for a math test that's in two weeks.
fail the math test
tell your parents that you'd rather be with your computer than with your girlfriend.
tell your computer that you'd rather be with it than your girlfriend.
tell your girlfriend that the computer that is better than her
listen to country music, write country music, or worse, sing country music in the shower
never take showers.
use enough hair gel to drown a duck.
tell the class babe that she is nothing compared to your hand.
hurry home on a friday night so you can watch your favorite show "newton's apple"
tell all of your friends that montley crue is the best band on the planet.
praise tommy lee for getting rid of pam anderson.
say "groovy dude" every time you see something to do with the space program.
go around telling every one about the band called "y2k"
tell them that every one has y2k's music on their computer
act like a skateborder or snowborder
listen to the spice girls while in aerobics class.
buy one of dem suspension systems that make your car bounce off the ground while your dirving it.
buy a car cd system that costs more than your car.
buying a expensive car like all those rap stars and trying to act like your rich.
spend friday and saturday nights at home in your room using a blow up doll.
go to church on sunday morning
listen to "no doubt" and ska music(?what the fuck does ska mean?)
gawk at the hookers standing on the street corners while driving in the car with your girlfriend and saying "fuck, i wish you was that good lookin!"
introducing your girlfriend to your new hooker friend
get a hard on in class while starring at the teacher.
trying to do all your homework every night for the entire school year.
spend a night trying to come up with these damn things.
i'd like to make a note about the 13th item in this list. tommy lee should get shot for beating pam anderson
and he should have astroturf super-glued to his head. We here and the "how to house" think that this guy sets a prime example of how to be a total idoit in reality.
so, tommy, if you ever stumble across here during your hopefully short lifetime, answer me this one question:WHY?
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